Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Unnecessary Movie: Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

Recently Updated46 
Okay, so in my misspent youth, I was a big fan of director Kevin Smith.  I found him so cutting edge.  As I grew up and became more conservative in my taste, I find that Mr. Smith is just another Jackass.

Yet no ordinary Jackass could have made Clerks (1994), Mallrats (1995), or Chasing Amy (1997) (A personal favorite.) Here is a quote I have memorized by heart, from Chasing Amy, that remains with me to this day:

I was an experimental girl for Christ sake! Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, that's you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated!

For me, this line amplified a certain indecisiveness is in my nature. In its context, the girl had just been discovered as a huge whore who likes to suck cock and take it up the ass…whatever.

The point is, Kevin Smith writes these movies that have some very shallow observations that can run fairly deep—and he tells his stories in such an immature manner in order to masks his vulnerability.  A 12 or 15 year old boy can take humorous anecdotes with him while a twenty something can probably take a reflection of his seemingly meaningless life from Smith’s film.

Zack and Miri, ranks along with that Bennifer disaster they called Gigli (2003). Both films are pure garbage. The only saving grace is the chemistry between the actors.

I mean, the porno scenes were not funny—the porn star is constipated and the camera man, trying to get a close up from the floor, gets shit on—okay, sort of funny.  Yet that is the only scene that made me almost laugh.  The rest was just uncomfortable.

I just wanted to question why they set out to make this movie?  I mean why not just go ahead and make a real porno instead of trying a little desperately to inject it into mainstream culture in such a haphazard way.  The whole business of Zack and Miri Make a Porno is an exercise of futility.

No comments: