Sunday, February 8, 2009

Absolutely Fabulous, Oh Sweetie Dahling

So over the past two weeks I been watching the fucking awesome British comedy from the early 90-'s into the 00's Absolutely Fabulous, or AbFab.
Edina, a wealthy flower child mom is always drinking, doing lines of coke and not going to work, while her straitlaced daughter pushes her glasses up her nose, scolding her mother for being out late and falling out of the car backwards, drunk.

Edina has a BFF Patsy who's a tall skinny blond nymphomaniac that used to be a fashion model, had a brief sex change once "but after a year it fell off" and now is the chief editor of some fashion mag for sleeping with some guy. They sell off Edina's boring daughter to Arabs in one episode (they get her back) and mercilessly bully her for being lame and "hideous". Nice mommy. Edina has an ancient mother that bobs into some of the shows and they also don't care for her either. She puts their condoms on her hand to wash dishes, thinking they were fingerless gloves. Ha. Old people are comedy gold.

They basically booze and drug their way through the episodes (a couple are on Youtube, the rest are on Veoh, but they are "mature" so you have to have an account) but there's enough fast-paced humour and adventures that for 20-odd minutes, are well worth your time. The biggest problem for the show was that there was only 6 episodes a season, and that they are spaced many years apart sometimes, because that's the way Britland rolls.
It was great and an icon to gays and straights alike everywhere. If you have seen it, there is no question to it's fabulocity.
So of course America had to grunt out a great fudge dragon over the whole damn mess.
Absolutely Fabulous is now scheduled to make an Amershit run on TV, but "more PC" sans drugs alcohol or hilarious orgies.
In other words, whoever thought this was a good idea, please die. Now.
Patsy, with her awesome lecherous sneer and bottle of hard liquor constantly in hand will now be played (raped) by the whiny-voiced pig-nosed actress that played the big blond Sally on Third Rock From The Sun. I liked Third Rock because Lithgow is an unquestioned God among men, but this blundering weird-faced giant as the smooth elegant skinny whore that was Patsy is unthinkable.
Milquetoast brainwashed gooey formless oatmeal will be smooshed through a naso-gastric tube sometime next year, but all I can hope is that this Frankenstein's monster will die a quick death; akin to me sneaking up behind it and garroting it with a chain and as it goes limp, slowly lay it down whispering "Shhhh shhh. That's a pretty. Shhh now," while petting it's face.

1 comment:

Nik said...

I loved third rock too!

I never finished a single episode of this show...maybe once when I was 13...

but yeah, really? Kristin Johnson confirmed to play Patsy?

she is my favorite, sweetie! patsy...although I think the third rock chick is okay...although not as Patsy...there can only be one Patsy!